Thursday, October 3, 2013

You're Not Growing Grass

Yesterday, G & K and I had the opportunity to meet up for a quick lunch with our friends that now live out of state. They were passing through town and had a small window of time we could meet them.  We were excited, as R is such a great friend to me, and our kids really enjoy playing together.  So, we had 4 little ones total, age 2-5 at where else, but Chickfila.  It was quick and chaotic, a meltdown (K missed his nap), a 'talk' in the bathroom, things were spilt & conversations split.  We attempted to catch up in broken phrases, often interrupted by encouragements to eat, wiping mouths, etc.  We have a way of just understanding each other (& our chaotic lives with 2 close-in-age little ones & husbands that work A LOT), that's really refreshing.  No judgment here on either side...good job, Mama!  Everyone needs friendships like that. <3




Anyways, apparently one of the workers, a middle-age woman, must have heard my comment to R during one conversation, "We're like the rednecks of the neighborhood.  I mean, (Cuban Daddy) is hardly home when it's still light out.  Who has time to cut the grass?!" 

A few minutes later, I got up (for the 5th time??) to get something.  Probably more napkins. The lady was standing there, and so sweetly smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I guess I was eavesdropping, but I overheard your conversation.  When I had young ones like you, someone said this to me, and it always stuck with me, so I'm telling you (both my friend and me), 'You are growing children, not grass.'"  And just smiled so sincerely.  She got it.  And she just wanted to encourage.

She didn't say as many do, "Wow, you have your hands full," or "I bet you stay busy," etc. (Yes, they are full, and I actually love staying busy!)  She just affirmed that she understood where we were.  In one comment, with one smile, she acknowledged our hard work, our love for our kids, our struggle to balance it all, and affirmed that the most important thing we are doing is...raising our kids.            The grass doesn't matter. 

And she was so right.  And refreshing.  We thanked her..(I refrained from hugging her).  
And we went on with our 'playdate/lunch' with a little more ease, and a little more confidence.

I wonder if she knew the impact 
she made that day.  



I realized early on in motherhood that I couldn't do it all well.  Something would have to give.  So I consciously chose my children.  Everyday, I choose my children.  Sometimes I fail, sometimes I get overwhelmed, sometimes I do my best and it still doesn't feel good enough.  But, I've learned to live with the never-ending piles of laundry, the sink full of dishes, the unkept beds, and messy playroom.  And the grass.  I choose to spend my time loving, teaching, and playing with my kids.  I don't want to miss a stinkin' thing.  I want to look back at these years and know I chose my kids...not the housework.  






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So, in passing on the kind encouragement from a smiling stranger...


When your laundry takes over 1/2 of your sofa...for 2 weeks, remember that you are growing children, not grass.




When you look in the sink at midnight, and wonder how your 2 children can 'dirty' 8 sippy cups, 6 bowls, & 13 utensils in one day...and you choose to go to bed & leave them for (maybe?) tomorrow, remember that you are growing children, not grass. 


(In his chef jacket b/c I made him cook too!  Don't worry, he thought it was all fun.)


When you go against all that is in your OC self to dress your 3 year old in mismatching jammies (all others are dirty or lost), remember that you are growing children, not grass.


(Okay, so this is a matching pair -yay, me!  However, not sure why we're 
LEAVING the house in them...while playing a recorder?!)


When you only clean your bathrooms when guests come over, remember you are growing children, not grass. (I really should have people over more often.)



<No Photo Available>  Trust me.

When you & your husband high five each other for being only 15 minutes late for church, remember you are growing children, not grass.




When your 5 year old asks you to play play-doh with them (again), remember you are growing children, not grass.




When your kids want to show you what they did in school, give them your full attention, and remember you are growing children, not grass.  




When you could give the simple, quick answer, but you chose to stop and explain so that they really understand, remember you are growing children, not grass.


 



When you choose to run through to drive-thru because impromptu cuddles took over cooking time, remember you are growing children, not grass.




When your master bedroom has become the throw-all room, and you're tripping over everyone else's stuff, remember you are growing children, not grass.


<No photo available again>  Shocker.

When you want to go for a run, but you settle for a pausing-every-10-seconds-and-head-back-home-after-10-minutes-for-a-bandaid-walk so your little one can ride his bike along the way, remember you are growing children, not grass.  




When you answer the same question (patiently?) for the 9th time that morning, remember you are growing children, not grass.




When your green eyed girl asks you to give her and her baby doll matching braids before heading out, remember you are growing children, not grass.


(at least the 'twins' have matching jammies)

When you know you could get some shopping done during their gymnastics class, but you stay to watch anyway, remember you are growing children, not grass.




When the kindergartener suddenly has the desire to learn to tie her shoes- 30 seconds before you are to leave for school, remember you are growing children, not grass.




When you, in a sleepier state of being than them, agree to 'just one more' bedtime book, remember you are growing children, not grass.




When you take that extra minute to jot a note & a heart on her lunch napkin because you realize how much she loves it, remember you are growing children, not grass.




When your 'regular park' is right around the corner, but he's been begging to try the one (further away) where he can ride his bike on the new track, remember you are growing children, not grass. 




When you lie in bed late at night, reading about fun fall preschool crafts you want to try, remember you are growing children, not grass.





When you do the messy fun anyway, remember you are growing children, not grass.  


 
(My nails would be considered 'grass' in this moment.)


When your little ones want to help with the groceries, and you know it will take 3 times as long as doing it yourself & something will likely be broken by the end, remember you are growing children, not grass.






When the only things that get crossed off of your list consist of feeding, bathing, chauffeuring, cheering, and changing others, remember you are growing children, not grass.  




When you drive by the neighbors' yards & they have freshly cut, edged, newly planted yards, complete with a swept front porch, Pinterest-inspired wreath, and American flag, remember you are growing children, not grass. 


When you pull into your driveway, and 
your children automatically sing, 
"Welcome to the Jungle!" in their best rock voices, 
remember you are growing children, not grass.



I am thankful for friendships, compassion, 
the kindness of strangers, 
and reminders of what's truly important.

And it's not the grass.




~ 6 in Love ~